I'm becoming quite good in fucking my things up.
Forcing myself into the corner and then get claustrophobic, start to do random stuff to get out of there, and normally i end up doing choices i shouldn't have done. Or doing something i shouldn't have done.
Maldito alcohol.
But the fact that i don't even realize why i have to make the choice, how i got into that situation that i'm in the between. For me the fact that those two even find me anything like attractive shows me a serious lack of judgement. I'm like that blind black man who leaves his wive after he founds out that he's black, because he can't live with a person who married a black person.
Yesterday went beautifully with coffee and today i realized how unbearable the lightness of being really is.
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