El País De Nunca Jamás.

I'm really not interested doing anything. I'm just totally numb and the only color i can see is blue.
But then i remember Neverneverland. (it's not Neverland, because its Neverneverland)

I could travel trough fire and ice, swim across the seven seas and find the second star from right just to go to Neverneverland. In that magical secret place in middle of San Carlos, there's adorable Mary Poppins and coffee and ice-cream and beer and those magic cigarettes that turn into mentol if i want them to.
In Neverneverland life is peaceful and there's no language barrier and people are the same. There's no wrong or right in Neverneverland, everythings in balance and everyone's happy.
In Neverneverland everything's just perfect, because Neverneverland is as pure as child's mind and the there's pixies that were born when the first baby laughed for the first time. But the pixies are obviously invisible, and we may not be sure if they exist, but i'm quite sure that they exist, because in the end it's Neverneverland,

But then i come back to home, and just stop existing. I shrink in side of my body and suddenly i'm just not there anymore, only my body's there doing the things i'm supposed to do. The real me is somewhere far far away. Or at least that's how i feel every day.
And it's really getting better. I learned how to ignore the yelling and the bad vibes. Only thing i can't overcome is that they comment my weight and what i eat. I can stand almost everything else, but it's hard for me even eat with people i don't know, never less take the comments about what i eat. And really i don't even feel like eating because of that (and also cos of that i already lost the weight that i gained, but that can be totally because of my sober period)

Sometimes i'm more than happy because of el terremoto (except the obvious misery) because without it my whole life would be different, the whole experience would be... i don't know, i don't believe it would be better, 'cos now i have people i can talk to, people that i trust, and people that i know wouldn't hurt me and i hope that they are also people who care, cos i do. Even tough i knew some of them only for week, and otherones became part of my daily life, and i'm more than proud to say that they are my family here. With them i'm always in el País De Nunca Jamás.
(i'll run away with the circus and the next stop will be Narnia! Aslan here i come!)